Redessin Maladroit Façon MS Paint

Redraw the reference photo in [the most clumsy, scrawled, and absolutely eyesore way possible]. Style: Drawn in retro Microsoft Paint using an unsteady computer mouse, featuring shaky pixelated lines, awkward flood-fill color artifacts, and a low-quality, grainy texture. Composition: Isolated on a pure white background. The subject should be barely recognizable and linked to the reference photo, but distorted with awkward proportions and intentionally ugly, amateur scribbles.